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wHAT MANY GIRLS DONT KNOW~

When a girl cries alone in secret, a guy’s tears drip down like rain
A guy’s toughness, is to protect his most precious you.
Truth is that he wants to hide in your arms and let you protect him.
A guy doesn’t shed a tear too easily
Because he has acted tough for too long a time
that when he wants to cry, he forgot how to cry
Many girls have no clue
that when she asks him if he loves her or not
a guy may be silence
but the truth is that he has so much love for you that you would never have guessed
…but he doesn’t know how to tell you that.
Many girls have no clue
What pains a guy the most
is to watch you sad
Many girls have no clue
the thing that a guy regrets the most
is never to have told you
that he loves you so much
so much that he cannot bear to see you walk away
yet he never told you about it
Your every moment
always stays in his heart
Guys are stupid
he never gets what a girl is hinting
He thought that…
…that a girl knows everything
So he never speaks up
Truth is that a guy bottles himself for too long
and when he met her
he onlt started to learn to express himself
A girl taught a guy how to express himself
But he can never live up to her expectation
Which leds to a girl thinking that the guy doesn’t care
thinking that he never change himself
but the truth is…
he is so happy every year that she changed him so much
He thank GOD every year to let him meet her
He feels so lucky every year
He wants to protect her every year
When she have a difficulty
he will always crack open his head to help her out
but most of the time, he couldn’t solve it for her
Therefore he always blames himself
When a girl mentions that she has to break up with him
he thought that leaving her alone is the best thing for her
but it makes her think that he doesn’t care about her
The truth is…
that how much he hates to leave
how much he wants to stay by her side
He is so sad and so sorry
to have never let her understood that he loves her so much
He cares so much about the girl even after they broke up
He wants to let her know how much he cares about her
How much he loves her
but he is so scare, scare that he will hurt her by accident again.
He just wants her to know that he is sorry…

My very own mS.rIGHT~

By Lawrence Lin Chia Yen

 

Mountains high,

Oceans wide,

The bird flies by,

Across the land of rye.

Why? Why? Why?

Where is my Ms. Right?

I am afraid to cry when you are by my side.

I am afraid to let you know

In case you say it’s a lie.

Freedom leads to temptation of crime,

It is the corruption of mind.

Watch as life rhymes

Somewhere along the line

Where time rewinds

Hopefully things will be fine.

In the past,

Where nothing last,

Hold on to the ones you love fast

Because soon things will rust,

And turn to dust.

As I lie down in the grass,

Thinking of you at long last.

Here by my side,

Is my very own Ms. Right,

Telling me all the reasons why

Without a single lie.

There is no need to cry.

Top 10 Things I hate About You

I hate the way you ignore me, the way you turn your back.
I hate the way you torture me mentally.
I hate it when you treat me like shit.
I hate your BAD MEAN jokes and the way you kick me aside
I hate you so much, it makes me sick, it even makes me cry.
I hate the way I’m always sorry for no reason at all.
I hate it when I miss the old times.
I hate it when you make me sad, even worse when you just don’t give a FUCK.
I hate it when you walk right by me without even a hi.
But mostly, I hate the way you hate me so deeply and so much
Even after you told me not to ever do the same… … …

2008 starts off… … …

I am trying to figure out what does each stars in the night-sky mean, sitting here alone beside the window; trying to prepare myself to start writing up anotehr blog. This is the first blog in a brand new year, I am struggling to start studying to prepare for exams after the holidays. Wow… …isn’t it weird when you think about it? A few days ago, it was 2007 and now a few days after and its 2008. One second we’re in 2007 and the next, we’re in 2008. 2007 have been a very long year, so many happy memories, so many pain, so many tough times that I had to deal with but now, now I sit right here. Still breathing, still living, still smiling. We all grow from those tough times, we all come back from dead. Now I am going to change the topic. I was walking downtown one day and I saw this kid holding his dad’s hand waiting in line for a movie ticket. I could hear the little boy whispering to his dad, saying, "Daddy, if one day you can no longer walk, I will hold you like how you hold me now. I love you daddy!!! I will give you the world!!" His dad then asked him,"But… the world cost quite alot of money!! How are you going to give me the world?" "Daddy, my world is the whole world to you, that is what mommy always tell me." I was speechless upon hearing these words, I started to ask myself: What have you done in your life to make Dad and Mom proud? I struggle with myself to find an answer but I couldn’t, it was then that I realize how much time I have wasted. How much wasted time that I can never EVER buy back even with all the money in this world. All i can tell myself is that 2008 will be my year, things may not go the way I want it to go but I know that my FATE is the outcome of my actions… This year, I will be a better LAWRENCE, a new goal this year, do something meaningful so that I will be able to answer my own question. Have I done anything in my life that can make Dad and Mom proud??? By the end of 2008, the answer to that question will be YES, I HAVE!!!

On X’mas night… the night of silence pain… …

By Lawrence Lin Chia Yen
 
Its christmas night, its the holiday season, everyone should be happy, everyone should be joyful. For some reason, I sit here alone in front of the computer; feeling a little down, with a sweet yet sad emotion surrounding me. So quiet, so peaceful, feeling as if this silence is going to engulf me from inside. Some people like Dhilipan wonders whether Santa exists, some wonders where thier presents are, some wonders around in their own imaginable world. What do I wonder about? Just a little of this and a little bit of that. This night seems to be magically bonded with a feeling of peace, with a feeling of joy; however at the same time, can you notice that there is a bit of sadness in it too? Go outside in the open space, take a deep breath and close your eyes for that moment. Happy happy feeling shall come to you first, but just before you open your eyes, a sweet type of sadness will overcome you. Sometimes in life, we gain some and yet we lose some. I believe that is the circle of life, we have to give something in order for us to receive something. Others may mistaken all my blogs and poems as being depressing but I’m not trying to be. All the blogs and poems that I have written during this year, it comes right out of my heart, it comes from the inner me, it is the real me breaking free to let everyone know me. These blogs and poems come with a sweet memory, they also come with a sad experience. Like what they all say: It isn’t the bad memories that last but the good ones. I will always remember the good times and will forgive the bad times. I never ask for nobody to like me, i only ask for everyone to give me a chance to show you who I am. X’mas night, what a sweet lovely night… the night of silence pain~ Good times will never pass, bad times will disappear with time. For everyone who is reading my blog…………I wish all of you a MERRY X’MAS from the bottom of my heart. This is the best X’mas present I can give, my sincerity!!! MERRY X’MAS TO ALL~ And also a HAPPY NEW YEAR~~
 

Her Greatness and her love… … …

By Lawrence Lin Chia Yen
Dedicate to Mommy
 
 
Your tears and pain
You always hide it in
You act so strong and tough
Yet inside you seek for help
Your tears drip down and landed in my heart
You gave me forgiveness
Yet I keep letting you down
Yet I broke your heart again
You told me 10 years and no more
You will be gone
You will give up
You are the start of me
You will also be the end of a part of me
Below your expectations
I am sorry that I didn’t live up to it
Mommy, I love you
Mommy, I will change
But please extend that 10 years you said you only have
I cannot, I do not, I will not, I refuse to
To be that son whom you will hate the most
But to be the son whom you will love the most………….

Gone Away….

I delete your phone number from my contacts…
I reduce mentioning you more and more in my everyday conversations…
I got rid of your smell with my perfumes…
I cover your photos with those of my family’s…
You turn my maturity into a type of childishness…
You turn my pride into a type of stupidness…
You let my friends turn round and care about me…
You let my weakness go along with your freedom…
Gone away from me, are you better?
Gone away from you, everything gets a little harder…
The bus arrives and you got on board towards your tomorrow…
The bus leaves and I stayed behind by the road…
Your mockings and your teasings ring in my head…
The wind blows by and reduce the amount of clouds…
You left and I?
I stay in the rain…
The rain which you said is full of loneliness… … …